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Yo' Momma!

Dozens are also known as sounding, hiking, screaming, ranlking, woofing, capping, joining, etc.: a verbal game of trading abuse, abuse mostly of female relatives. Played mostly by males. Among its central functions is social behavior control: channeled aggression, ritualized release of violence within rigid boundaries, following understood and accepted conventions. Despite its conventions, however, the dozens in real life is always flexible, ambiguous, double-edged: always, it could be used either to amuse or to abuse (and of course when it amuses, it amuses by abusing). Much like boasts and tlireats, dozens could be used either to start a fight (as an unequivocal expression of anger and provocation), or to inject light humor in a gathering of friends. When thus used to amuse, it is equivalent to a joke well told, an exhibition by two contestants (two at a time, at any rate) of superb imagination and verbal virtuosity before an approving audience.

The audience is always vital.   Whether the exchange ends as entertainment or degenerates into violence quite often depends on the audience.   The performance is staged for their appreciation, and they are, in their responses, the final arbiters of victory or loss. At a good score they would break into laughter, or shout their approval:   "OoooooH!" "Sound!!" "Rank!!" It Is the crowd's comments, their derisive or approving laughter, that most readily turns the game into a fight.   The crowd could channel the contest toward one goal or the other; or they could see-saw it, pushing It first in one direction, then in the other.   To that extent the players are unfree; and unless one or both players simply bow out, a crowd that is determined to see a fight will manipulate them until it gets one.

"Hello brother! How's your momma?"

"What you mean, 'how's my momma?' "

"Well ... I woulda said how's the family, but I know your pappy ain't been home for a month."

"That's right, motherfucker, he been living over at your momma's place since my momma threw him out.

"That ain't your poppa, that's my momma's hound-dog who looks so much like your poppa that even you couldn't tell them apart."

"Shiiiiiit!  I coulda sworn that that was my poppa by . the way your momma was letting him tell her what to do."

"That dog wasn't telling her what to do. IVly momma was just blowing a fart and you thought it was your poppa's barking mouth."

"You right.  I shoulda known that my poppa was too good to bother hisself with a gas bomb like your momma."

"Shiiiiiit!  My momma wouldn't : even open the door to no trash like your poppa."

"That's news."

"What's news?"

"The news about your momma gettin' doors on her house."

Your mother goes to church, puts in a penny and asks for change.

Willie:  Hey man! How's your mama?  ! saw her last night, her hair was kinky, her draws were baggy, and she was drunk as a skunk. She looked so bad she would have scared a baboon to death.

Joe: Say man! That was your mama, who was looking so bad even you didn't recognize her.

Your mother's like a doorknob, everybody gets a turn.

At least I have a father and not fifty suspects.

Some like it hot
Some like it cold
Some who like your mama
Like it pretty damn old.   

Your mother is so ugly, when she cries tears run down her back.

Your mama has so many wrinkles in her head that she has to screw her hat on.

Your mama's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a glass to get a drink of water.

Your mama's head is so bald that I can read her mind.

Man, you are so ugiy you can draw a blister on a rock.

Your mama is like a balloon, always blown up.

Your mother's so ugly, she uses Preparation H for lipstick.

Your mother's got two left titties.

Your mother's teeth are so buck that she can eat apples through a picket fence.

If brains were dynamite your mother wouldn't have enough sense to blow her nose.

I don't want to talk about your mama, she is a good old soul. She has a double-barrel pussy and a cannon asshole.

Your mother's like a cup of coffee: hot, black, and ready to be creamed.

You so black you sweat Permalube Oil.

Your family is so poor the roaches leave at dinner time.

I walked into your house and your family was running around the table. 1 said, "Why you doin' that?" Your mama say, "First one drops, we eat!"

If you find a pair of slippers under your mother's bed, they're mine.

A lady said to your father, "Your fly is open." Your father said, "You noticed my fly was open, did you see that big shiny black Cadillac?" The lady said,
"No, but ! saw a little Volkswagen with two flat tires."

Your mother is very athletic, she does deep knee-bends over fire hydrants.

Let's get off the subject of mothers, 'cause I just got off of yours.